What can you do when you are feeling really, really low? Well, here are some mood boosters that I’ve found useful:
1. Never feel embarassed just because your spirit is low or your heart is broken. Remember: Even Wall E has feelings and emotions, which is exactly why that animation has touched the heart of the Academy reviewers and thus won the little gold man. So we, as humble human beings, are naturally entitled to feel hurt, bewildered, annoyed or depressed sometimes. If you claim that you have never had any such down moments, okay, then, you are either too good to be true, or you are just shamelessly lying to yourself and us all. HOWEVER, a time limit shall be strictly applied to your blue period if you still want to retain your rosy cheeks and airy spirit in the long run; I set the time limit to 24 hours. (Well, if the emotional depression is worsened because of your monthly biological clock, you can extend it to 48 hours. But no more.) During that period, you can indulge yourself to cry till your eyes drop, to forget food and drinks, to ask hundreds of "why"s at sleepless night, to refuse any phone calls (of course you need to restrain yourself if it is unfortunately a working day, but at least the night belongs to you – unless you need to spend an all-nighter at the printer’s, which is very unlikely under the current economic circumstances). But never go beyond that limit – excessive self-pity or doubt can be catastrophic to both your mental and physical well-beings (and can also be very harmful to our already very fragile economy if you stop dining out, buying new shoes, going on vacations). When the time is up, get out of your bed, wash your face, and take one or more of the following boosters.
2. Go to a beauty saloon to have a facial treatment, and even an oil massage or a body SPA if you have both time and money. Or if your pocket is a bit tight at that moment, at least treat yourself with a bubble bath and a face mask at home. The whole point is to make yourself relaxed and look good again. Trust me, no one (even your best friend who is ready to offer all her sympathies) would be thrilled to see a beaten figure. Imagine staring at yourself in the mirror and seeing two big dark circles under your eyes and a face as purple as an eggplant – will you be cheered up or just wish that you would never need to step out of your home again? Get yourself well groomed, put on some make-ups, be well dressed, call your closest friends and have a night (or day if you need not work) out with them.
3. Chat with your best girlfriends about your dark thoughts and bad feelings. It is fairly lucky to have one close girlfriend (or even more than one if you are damnly lucky) who is willing to lend you her gentle shoulders, loyal ears, symphathetic heart and objective advice at a time when you feel that all the pains and doubts can nearly drown you. Do not be ashamed to let your friend see your vulnerability; do not hesitate if you have not yet organized your thoughts. Just talk – talking by itself can relieve our uneasiness to an extent that you possibly cannot imagine if you have never tried. That’s exactly why the Americans need their shrinks so often . But for most of us, falling back on a close girlfriend is more feasible and efficient, unless you have some very dark secret disturbing you so much that you have no other choices but to pay the bill of a shrink. But never, never try to first talke to your parents, boyfriend or husband – they can easily get panic and then it will become your duty to humor them, and more than often, they are probably the cause why you are feeling bad.
4. See a movie. But not any of this year’s Academy Award Winners (except Vicky Cristina Barcelona maybe) – I’ve seen most of them: they are great movies, wonderful tribute to human culture, but believe me, they are just too serious and dark at this subtle moment for you. Re-watching Harry Potter may be a good idea – you already know most of the plot, so you don’t need to concentrate too much, but it can still bring you into a wonderful magical world and let you escape the troubling reality for a while. You can even learn some of your favorite spells from the movie with the help of a chopstick as a wand, and apply them to anyone you picture in your mind at that dark but exciting moment – you feel achieved with no real harm done.
5. Go to a decent (but not necessarily expensive) restaraunt and eat something good (preferably with several friends). I’ve never seen a person die of a broken heart whose stomach is full of delicious food. As long as you have desire for wonderful food, you will never lose hope for a better life. But eat wisely and sparingly, and never too much, otherwise you will hate yourself (or even me) when you are no longer able to put on your size 2 pants.
6. Call your bank at midnight and check the balance of your savings account (but NEVER EVER think of doing that if you are BROKE). You should be proud that you are a self-supported and economically independent woman; that you have a decent job, a decent life, even maybe a decent apartment and a decent car. So you don’t need anyone to COMPLETE you. All you need is someone who can make your life even HAPPIER.
7. As aforementioned, never watch a serious movie or read a classic book full of philosophical thinkings when you are already down. They can only lead you to doubt the meaning of your own being and make you desparate to dramatise your life without any necessity. Of course you can go on a soul searching journey in Africa or Europe if you have too many doubts about your life and too much money in your purse; you can attend a human rights conference if there happens to be one and you happen to have the honor to be invited (though I sincerely doubt the likelihood); or you can go to a very poor mountain area and be a village teacher (but think twice about the reality that you can only shower at most once every month before you start packing your Fancls and Lancomes for your great adventure). But we can also go back to some valuable hobby that is embedded in each of our genes, that is so long-lasting, endearing and pacifying, and that is – FASHION AND SHOPPING. Flip through the latest issue of your Vogue, InStyle, W, or Oggi, be smartly dressed, and off you go! You must understand what wonderful magic a cute Nike bag or a pair of purple suede ballerina shoes with beautiful hand-stitched flowers can do to both your figure and your heart! If you cannot afford Prada, MaxMara or Burberry, go to Uni Clo, Muggi, Zara, Puma or just some lovely local fashion stores on the street. The feeling that you have single-handedly picked out and now own something that makes you both look and feel good can really play the trick to reboost your self-esteem as well as self-control (but of course every one of us knows shopping can also make us lose control of this month’s budget so easily).
8. Go to the gym – running, swimming, or kick-boxing, whatever you like. Like some sportswear ads says – I use exercise to calm myself down （我用动让自己静下来）, sports is a good way to lead you to inner peace (also a good shape – what a wonderful bonus surprise!).
9. Use a pair of luxurious silk pillow covers (you can buy them at Taobao.com for just a couple hundred RMB) – they are so overwelmingly soft, smooth, and tender, which are bound to bring you a gentle night and sweet dreams; and more importantly: with the greatly reduced friction between your face and the pillow, the danger of growing wrinkles is also greatly reduced! How can you not feel happy at this marvelous scientific finding?
10. Write blogs, if you are a regular blog-writer and (at least you believe yourself) write well. You know, to be a great writer, you have to go through all kinds of emotional disturbance – that was what made Ernest Hemingway so great a writer (though he finally had to kill himself, which part we definitely don’t need to follow). So you see, all the pains are not worthless after all – you need to drink the bitter liquid in the Holy Grail to achieve glory and eternity (well, even if we are indeed not that gifted or lucky, who says we cannot dream?). But don’t write a diary when weeping under your quilt – it does you no good and can only make you look pathetic (in your own eyes and others’).
11. Think of the good things about the person who just hurt you. It never helps when you gather all your energy and put all your efforts to hate someone just because he intentionally or unintentionally hurt your feelings badly. If a person never treats you well, perhaps you will never feel dissapointed or hurt when someday he fails to live up to your expectation in one way or another, because in such case you will simply have no expectation of him at all. Try to be thankful for the good times that the person has brought to you; and as to the bad ones, well, when things happened, they just happened – why not just let it go and move forward?
12. Lastly but not finally, never lose your pride in yourself, your faith in people, and your sense of humor torward life.
And, any suggested supplement to this never-ending list will be heartily welcomed. 🙂
C'est la vie 